Blogging is pretty much my Epic Failure of '08

Hahahaha, okay not so much... This year has been pretty interesting to say the least. It's weird how some things come full circle and some don't. But I think it ends up being okay, because I have Faith in some Cosmic Order. I refer to Him as God but I'm sure He could be there in just as obvious a way but in a different form to someone else. Yeah, that comment's there for you Eric ;-)

Anyway, I'm sick at the moment and loving the buzz of a heady cocktail of medication, lack of sleep, and a delicious dinner.

I'm both stressed and thrilled beyond words:

My new album is almost finished!! It's a creative milestone for me. I've put a lot of myself into it, more than anything else I've done before. PLUS it was made at a real recording studio, with an AMAZING producer.

So why am I stressed? Well, IT'S NOT FINISHED YET!!! It's being mixed right now, but it's not done and that worries me... I'm kind of nervous that it won't come together. There's just a lot of stuff still up in the air, and not a thing I can do right now to bring it all together. I'll have to post a link on here to a few songs once I get them up.

The big day has finally arrived!!

Just wanted to update the world,

Yesterday I was accepted to the University of Utah for Spring '09 (meaning January, meaning freezing cold). I'm surprised, I was prepared for panic and fear. So far I've felt nothing but good emotions about going... I'm not sure how my Dad's going to do with this, but I think it'll all be fine eventually. He's excited, but I think also kind of sad to see me go. Still, it's time to get on to the next step. For the first time in a long while, I feel optimistic about the future. I genuinely feel really excited, beyond words. This is the first day of the rest of my life, for lack of a less dramatic, cheesy, and spastic way of talking about it. Now we'll just see what happens next...

Too much time to think...

These days I've had some time to reflect on life. It's a difficult thing to keep the faith when it feels like so many things are falling apart, through, and/or away. But I've decided I need to give myself permission to feel and speak my mind. Somehow I stole this right from myself. I will say this, I wish I'd tried both of those out LONG ago. I wonder how different things would've been if I'd tried to just be myself rather than what I thought people needed/wanted me to be. I genuinely had good intentions, but somewhere in the conflagration of the last 9 months or so I REALLY lost the thread, and as a result lost my way. I want to get it back again.

I'm here now. At least I've learned. But it still kills me when I think about what it took to see what I'd become.  Now I have to dig myself out of this ditch that I've been hiding in.