These days I've had some time to reflect on life. It's a difficult thing to keep the faith when it feels like so many things are falling apart, through, and/or away. But I've decided I need to give myself permission to feel and speak my mind. Somehow I stole this right from myself. I will say this, I wish I'd tried both of those out LONG ago. I wonder how different things would've been if I'd tried to just be myself rather than what I thought people needed/wanted me to be. I genuinely had good intentions, but somewhere in the conflagration of the last 9 months or so I REALLY lost the thread, and as a result lost my way. I want to get it back again.
I'm here now. At least I've learned. But it still kills me when I think about what it took to see what I'd become. Now I have to dig myself out of this ditch that I've been hiding in.
